UPDATE: For the record, my relationship with my wife is strong. We love each other and continue to do things to show that love for one another. In no way do I mean anything negative about Vickie in this. She is an amazing wife and I don’t know what I would do without her in my life.
I am divorced. I see that as the single, greatest failure of my life. Not just as a preacher . . . but as a person. It’s taken me a long time to see my own faults in our marriage. I was depressed over the loss of our house in St. Peters and over the death of my father. I was distant from the woman who should have been the most important person in the world to me. I was a terrible father who was impatient with my daughter and did not give her enough affection.
I can see God’s provision through the seven years since we divorced. I am remarried to a Godly woman. Is our marriage perfect? No. But we try. We will have been married for three years on February 24th. The honeymoon phase has gone. The “love feeling” has gone. How do we move forward? We look to Jesus.
Marriage is a view of Christ’s relationship with the Church. As humans, we will disappoint Him. We sin again and again. But He still loves us. Why? Because He CHOOSES to do so. He promises us that He will never leave or forsake us, no matter how much we fail.
We, as spouses, must view our marriages similarly. We will do things to bother each other. We will fail to do all of the laundry, or pick up our socks. We will say the wrong things or get impatien with a spouse who is over-affectionate. We say things to each other that tear each other down. We may have to learn to speak a whole new love language to feel loved by our spouses. But we must continue on. We made a covenant with each other and the Lord that we mustn’t break.
So, before having the affair . . . before simply leaving your spouse to have a short-lived “peace” . . . consider dropping to your knees and begging the God who would never leave you to give you a love for your spouse like the one that He has for you. An active love.