115098911878951340

BUTTERFINGER BLUES

I like Butterfinger candy bars. They’re not my absolute favorites, but I like to eat them every once in a while. We have a vending machine in one of the second floor break rooms that has a full row of them and I try to buy one maybe once a week.

I emphasize the word try. For some reason, the machine gives an error each time we choose the number for the Butterfinger. It’s done this for the last six months. Since the rep who brings us the candy is never there when I am, I’m just curious as to whether or not he wonders why nobody ever buys that particular candy bar. Will he eventually wise up and figure out that something is wrong? Or will he think that nobody likes Butterfinger and change out the six month-old candy bars for some fresher ones of a different kind-only to wonder why nobody is eating those?

PULLING MY HAIR OUT

I’m just going to type the transcript of one of my most irritating calls. The names have been changed to protect the unintelligent:

Me- “Thank you for calling ______ Card Services. My name is Jeff Davis. May I please have your name?”

Them- “Jeff Davis? Are you from the south?”

Me- (silent groan) Actually, my father was a Michigan-born Yankee (I say this robotically). May I have your name please?”

Them- “My account number is XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX.”

Me- (silent groan at the fact that I already had an account number through our Caller ID system) “Thank you. May I have your name please?”

Them- “I need to know why my interest rate went up.”

Me- “I’ll be happy to look into that with you. May I have your name please?

Them- “My what?”

Me- “Your name?”

Them- “John Doe.”

Me- “Thank you, Mr. Doe. And, for security purposes, may I have your mother’s maiden name?”

Them- “Jane.”

Me- (Noting that we have a different name) “We have something that starts with a G.

Them- “My mom’s name is Jane.

Me- “That was her last name before she got married?”

Them- “Why didn’t you ask for that? It was Grant.”

Me- (rolling my eyes) “Thank you. (Looking into his account) I show that your account has been past due three times in the past four months, which is the reason for your change in APR. And we still haven’t received your payment that was due two weeks ago.”

Them- “So?”

Me- “The terms of your account are that it must stay current in order to keep the low rate. One late payment is sufficient to change it. We allowed three.”

Them- “I’m not getting anywhere with you. I want your supervisor.”

Me- (Doing the Cabbage Patch in my seat) “If I may place you on hold for a minute or two, I’ll get one for you.”

And, just for the record, how many people don’t know the definition of maiden name?

WILDERNESS

In our youth meeting last night, Pastor Christian used the term wilderness to metaphorically describe low points in our lives. He pointed out that both Jesus and John the Baptist went into the wilderness before they began their ministries.

For today’s Christian, however, going through things like a job loss or illness can be a “wilderness,” too. And these things can prepare us for ministry. My wife and I have been going through a wilderness of our own for the past year and a half. In 2003, due to a high-risk pregnancy, my wife lost her job and we subsequently lost our house the following year. But God’s provision has always been there. I can see it as I look back. Most importantly, He’s given us a beautiful little girl who is full of life and wonder and who has a personality all her own. And I wouldn’t trade her for all of the houses in the world.

WRITING UPDATE

I’m trying to do research to prepare me for the next book. I need to read more scary stuff.

Until next time, God Bless.

Advertisements

Comments Off on 115098911878951340

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments are closed.