The Blog of Jeffrey Allen Davis, Christian Author

My Weekend in Jail (Warning PG-13)

jeffreyallendavis — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:45:40 +0000

I spent this past weekend in jail.

Do I have your attention? I figured that any of you who know me personally would find that shocking. Imagine my surprise when I was handcuffed on Saturday to be taken to jail as a “body bond” because I missed a court date of which I wasn’t made aware in the first place.

Saturday morning was a depressing blur. I remember being handcuffed to a bench in the part of the station where I was checked in. While sitting there, the guards made crude jokes about the deer sausage that one of them brought in to share. Even the lone female guard jumped in the crass humor. I was given an orange jumpsuit and forced to strip for the guard who brought in the food. He made me lift my tongue and “junk”, as he put it, before I was allowed to put on the orange clothing. Perhaps I should have been flattered that he thought that I was large enough to hide a weapon. But, having never undressed like that in front of a man, I simply found it humiliating. Before they booked me, I spoke with a nurse, who gave me a shot. I don’t have tuberculosis. I guess that’s a positive.

Our free phone call? It has to be collect and, if you don’t know anybody who can accept collect calls, you get one whole minute to talk to them. You get more than one, however. You can call as many people as you like. But you can’t talk to any who don’t have collect call capability for more than a minute, or more than one time. And it memorizes the number and literally won’t LET you call it more than once.

The room that I was in was where everyone stayed at first. If I remember correctly, there were about thirty bunks, arranged in sets of three. As I had mentioned that I was acrophobic, I was assigned a bottom bunk. The room was large, with several round tables like the kind you might find in a high school cafeteria. The food was comparable, as well. I didn’t eat much, though. I didn’t really have much of an appetite.

Right outside of the bathroom, somebody had drawn a life-size rendition of Marge Simpson. The artwork was really good, with the notable exception of the fact that she was naked. I guess, if you’re in there long enough . . ..

And the fact that I’m also OCD fell on deaf ears. We didn’t have soap the entire time that I was in there. In desperation, I even washed my hands with toothpaste at one point.

The guards who stayed in the room with us were much more pleasant than those who checked us in. They’d sit and talk with us. One of them even said that he was there to do a job and, if we were all at a bar with him, he wouldn’t have cared what we’d done.

I got into a conversation with a friendly jokester the first night who told me that, no matter what I was going through, it could be worse. It came out that I was ordained and I was thereafter referred to as “Preach.” I lamented that I didn’t have a Bible, so the jokester gave me the closest thing that was in there . . . a women’s daily devotional. The irony of the fact that this book and several Harlequin Romances were the primary reading material in a lockdown that was made for thirty men didn’t escape me. However, I did read the devotional. I got through ten months of it while I was in there.

And while I wanted more than anything to get out, God softened my heart toward the others that were sharing that space with me. I began to listen to their stories.

There was the guy who had lost his parental rights in his first marriage nearly twenty years ago, was remarried for over seventeen years with three more boys that he’s raised, and was pulled over in Georgia for a broken taillight only to be shocked to find out that he was seventy thousand dollars past due on child support that he didn’t even know that he was supposed to be paying.

There was the guy who was arrested for getting into an argument with his girlfriend and punching his own television instead of her.

There was the guy who was intoxicated and his sister-in-law just called the police to take him in long enough to sober up, but the county filed charges against him instead.

There was one guy who never got out of his bed the whole time that I was there because he was detoxing.

There was the guy who was a victim of abuse from his fiancé and finally snapped at her constantly hitting him, hitting her back and landing in jail. I’m not justifying a man hitting a woman, but why didn’t she get arrested, too?

And there was “J”. J is a heroin addict. And he is a good person. He has a fiancé who he loves and a four-year-old son for whom he desperately wants to get clean. J was the first person to call me Preach. He sat down at the table with me while I was reading that women’s devotional and told me his life story. And I listened. I think that’s all he needed . . . someone to listen. When he realized that I couldn’t talk to anyone outside, he had his fiancé call home for me. He was a really good person and . . . I truly believe . . . someone who is dear to Jesus’s heart.

Finally, I had my day in court and was released with nothing on my record. When I went back to the lockdown to pack up my bedding, J asked me to call his fiancé and give her a message . . . to bring his ab-roller to him on visitation day. I kept that promise. I also told him that, if he wants to talk to someone, just put me down as someone who can visit him and have his fiancé call me. I told him that, with Christ’s help, he can beat the odds.

Just Some Random Things . . ..

jeffreyallendavis — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 06:51:42 +0000

DON’T PROCRASTINATE!

Considering the fact that I’ve been working for a travel agency for the past six months and have had to tell people, on a daily basis, that the cost of a flight isn’t guaranteed until booked, I should have known better. But, when I saw that AirTran had flights from Kansas City, MO, to Orlando, FL, for $79 each way on the days that we needed them for our honeymoon, I should have jumped on it then, on Monday. However, I decided to wait until Tuesday morning. Imagine my horror when I discovered that the price HAD DOUBLED!!! We ended up booking our flight through American Airlines. My procrastination cost us about a hundred dollars.

AN INTERESTING HALLOWEEN

Due to an issue in the basement that I’d just as soon not go into here, I found myself sleeping on the living room couch last night. I was awakened by the sound of a car horn in the middle of the night. It didn’t sound like a car alarm, as it wasn’t “pulsing” (for lack of a better word). It sounded like someone was simply pressing down on their horn without letting up. After laying there and listening to it for several minutes, I got up and went outside. The sound seemed to be coming from across the street, so I walked in that direction.

To my shock, my car, which was parked on the street in front of our house, was where it was coming from. I checked the doors and they were locked. After running back into the house to get my keys, I unlocked the car and pressed on the horn button on the steering wheel and the blaring stopped. I’m at a loss as to what could have caused it.

I’ll be working in Hogwarts until November 1 . . .

jeffreyallendavis — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 06:19:42 +0000

My work is having a contest for the best decorated team. We have some really creative people. One entire section of the room is covered in fake webs–and I do mean COVERED–and giant, plastic spiders. One team has their area decorated in giant mushrooms and little blue guys who live in them. One team got really gory and have skeletons and severed body parts laying about, with a table that has torture devices on it and the head of the Jigsaw doll that talks about playing a “game” when it is touched.

But our team is just awesome. We have candles hanging from the ceiling all around us. We have a fake fireplace that appears to be spewing letters to one “H. Potter” on Privet. We have stuffed owls perched on our workstations. We have two hoops positioned at each end of our area for a certain sport that is played on broomstick. I’m really enjoying working at Hogwarts.

I just wish that we were allowed to have cameras in there.

NET10 @$#%&^!

jeffreyallendavis — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:27:29 +0000

I’m not a fan of contracts. I’ve had my fair share of them and they have almost always come back to bite me in the rear. That’s my reason for self-publishing Lily’s Redemption.

And it bleeds over into my cell phone, too.

Over the past few years, I’ve done the prepaid cell phone thing. I started with Virgin Mobile and then, for no real reason other than cool commercials of two cell phones having a baby and one of them saying, “Oh look, dear! We had a NET10!”, I switched.

Yes, I know I’m a little naive. Okay, a lot naive . . ..

But I liked NET10 enough that, when I moved from Nixa, MO, to St. Charles, MO, to be closer to my daughter, I actually bought a better NET10 phone, rather than having them mail me a free SIM card to switch my number to a new 636 number. I’ve been with them for a year and have had no reason at all to complain . . . at least, until last night.

When I was with Virgin Mobile, I was enrolled in their unlimited monthly plan. At the time, it cost sixty dollars and all I had to do was make sure that I had purchased enough top-up cards to add up to that amount on the day that my phone automatically renewed. That makes sense. Sixty dollars is sixty dollars, no matter what you add together to get there.

Now, for the NET10 issue: Last night, I was on my way home from work and stopped at Walgreens to purchase my top-up card. They didn’t have any single, $50 cards (the cost of a month’s unlimited service), so I purchased a $20 card and a $30 card. Twenty plus thirty equals fifty, right?

Not so with NET10. Instead of giving me any choice in the matter, it just loaded them to my phone as FIVE HUNDRED MINUTES. I’d use that up in a week. So I turned off the phone to avoid using any of this pittance of minutes and called NET10 this morning. I spoke first with a person whose English I could barely understand. I told him that I had paid for two cards to add up to fifty dollars and I needed them to switch it to the unlimited plan.

His response was, “Well you will need to purchase one of the unlimited cards, sir.”

“But I already spent the fifty bucks. I don’t want to have to do it again. I just want you to switch what’s already there.”

“Well, you will need to purchase one of the unlimited cards, sir.” He actually repeated the exact same phrase to me again! So I asked for a supervisor.

She spoke better English. But she didn’t understand basic math.

“Purchasing a twenty and thirty dollar card isn’t the same thing as purchasing a fifty dollar card.” She actually said that.

My response was, “It was with Virgin Mobile.”

“Virgin Mobile and NET10 don’t work the same way.” Obviously.

“I’m not going to pay you guys another fifty bucks. If you don’t fix this, I’m going to go back to Virgin Mobile.”

Her response? “We’re very sorry to hear that. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

I wanted to tell her that she hadn’t helped me with anything yet, but I just hung up.

What has happened to customer service? It’s almost as if the companies don’t care about their individual customers anymore.

LILY’S REDEMPTION reviewed by No Wayz Tired

jeffreyallendavis — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 19:06:35 +0000

Marsh Randolph has posted one of my poems, a review of LILY’S REDEMPTION, and a short biography of me on her blog. Check it out!

http://marsharandolph.wordpress.com/about-their-books/lilys-redemption-by-jeffrey-allen-davis/

Interview Regarding LILY’S REDEMPTION

jeffreyallendavis — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 05:36:59 +0000

An interview is up regarding LILY’S REDEMPTION. You can read it here:

http://pastorbobby.com/?page_id=392

End of January Resolution Update

jeffreyallendavis — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 02:56:24 +0000

Well, here it goes. I haven’t written anymore on the novel. And I haven’t lost a pound.

Weight: 317 lbs.

Pages: 78

I did write over the course of the month. I finished two short stories for my writing group. I also coded Lily’s Redemption for the Kindle. However, I really need to get in gear for that next novel.

As for the weight, I don’t really understand it. I’ve been getting more exercise and I haven’t been eating as much. Maybe I’m building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat.

Yeah, I’ll just keep telling myself that . . ..

As mentioned, I uploaded Lily’s Redemption for the Kindle. I’d love to do it for the Nook and other reading devices. However, I used Createspace’s cover creator for the cover of the paperback and that keeps me from being able to use the finished cover on a non-Amazon site. If anybody is feeling charitable and wants to help me with Photoshop in designing a special edition cover for the other e-editions of the book, I’d be grateful.

BTW, I’m still looking for a job in the STL area. Please continue to pray for me.

Mid-January Resolution Update

jeffreyallendavis — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 03:19:27 +0000

Well, this has been an exhausting January, thus far. I’ll start by saying that I haven’t weighed myself yet since my last post. I also haven’t written anything on my novel. I spent nine days in St. Charles, MO, looking for a job so that I can move up there. Couple that with a migraine and a rather nasty toothache since I’ve gotten back and I really haven’t had much time.

What I have accomplished:

1. I got to spend my daughter’s birthday with her for the first time since her mother’s and my divorce. I took her out to lunch and she chose (of all places) Bob Evans. I loved their cinnamon roll pancakes, but their cherry hot chocolate tasted like cocoa with cough syrup in it.

I took her to St. Peters’ Incredible Pizza for dinner. It is about twice the size of the one that we have in Springfield.

2. I finished my short story for my writing group. I entitled it The Break-In.

3. I finally got around to formatting Lily’s Redemption for Amazon’s Kindle. I’ve uploaded the file and should receive the approval within twenty-four hours.

I’ll get back into the swing of things by the end of the month. Everyone pray for me in my job hunt. I want to be closer to my daughter as soon as I can.

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

jeffreyallendavis — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 05:51:47 +0000

I’m like most people when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. I make them. Then I break them. I think that the problem is accountability. Here are my resolutions from last year:

1. Start GCD Publishing (Completed: http://www.gcdpublishing.co.cc)

2. Publish Lily’s Redemption (Completed)

3. Re-release Invasion of the Togakura as a better-edited Invasion of the Ninja (Incomplete)

4. Lose a hundred pounds (Heh, yeah right)

Now, fifty percent of my resolutions were completed. That wouldn’t be bad but I have, by necessity, more of them this year. This means that I’ll have to step up my efforts to accomplish these goals. Here are my goals for 2011:

Finish my complete rewrite of Invasion of the Ninja. After discussing it with my editor, Karen Griffiths, we decided that the first book needed more than an edit. I’m completely rewriting it. And I have two other projects that I want to write but, until I finish this book, I don’t want to start any other long projects.
Finish “The Subdivision”. Some friends and I have formed a writers’ group to challenge each other to step out of our comfort zones when it comes to our writing. Each person takes a turn choosing the criteria for the next story. Brandy Goodman is the current judge and chose a story about a blind person.
Create a website and Facebook page for the writers’ group. I volunteered to do this but we need to come up with a group name first.
Move to St. Louis. I’m doing this so that I can be closer to my daughter. I’m supposed to be able to see her every other weekend but gas prices-and the fact that I’m responsible for all transportation-make this impossible. This resolution will involve me finding a new job in an already strained job market, as well as require me to leave a job that I like and that has very good benefits. But my daughter is worth the change.
Lose at least five pounds per month. I’ve been told that one to two pounds per week is healthy. I’ll try to restrict my diet to 1600-1800 calories per day, with ten percent of them being a junk snack, like a candy bar. I’m hoping that this will make me less likely to cheat on the diet. I’m also going to try to walk a mile a few times a week. My employer has a mapped out area of the building that is a mile for those of us who want to walk without having to brave the Missouri winter temperatures.

I am hoping that you, my dear readers, will help to keep me on track this year. On the first and fifteenth of every month, I will blog about the current status of these goals. I’ll put my current weight up, as well as the page count of Invasion of the Ninja. I’ll give updates to the other goals as they come up. Let’s begin, shall we?

Current weight: 317 lbs.

Invasion page count: 78

My Thoughts on the New Transformers Series

jeffreyallendavis — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 04:53:33 +0000

Pretty much everyone who knows me understands that I’m a lifelong Transformers fan. All the way back when I got my first two transformers (the original Sideswipe and the original Bumblebee), I never knew that I would follow them as a fan for twenty-six years. I’ve just caught the second episode of the new series, Transformers Prime, and wanted to give my impressions.

First of all, it is a computer animated series. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this, although I don’t really like the appearance of the characters. It may be a minor thing, but they don’t have noses.

Now, for the characters. I’ll concentrate on the robots here, as I don’t really know enough about the humans to really care.

Optimus Prime has Peter Cullen back at the helm. He will always be Prime in my eyes. It is also good to see him as the legendary leader again, rather than the academy dropout that he was in the last series. It just seems like they should have made him appear more like the original Prime than the one from the movie. I’ve never really cared much for his appearance in the live-action films. Just personal preference.

Bulkhead is back from Transformers: Animated. At first, I was thrilled at this, as he was my favorite from that series. My joy was short-lived, however, when I realized that he is only the same character in appearance. They have a new voice for him and he isn’t the loveable character that he was in the last series. He has more of a tough attitude that just makes him . . . wrong.

Ratchet has a personality that is similar to the griping persona from Animated. However, they inexplicably cast Jeremy Combs (yes, from the Reanimator) for his voice. And his complaining in that voice is more irritating that loving.

The episode that I saw didn’t have Cliffjumper in it, at least not as himself anyway. Megatron had mutated his body into some zombie-like creature with an “anti-spark”. I don’t claim to understand what that is yet.

Bumblebee is pretty much the same character from the movie, meaning HE CAN’T TALK!!! I hate this about the movies. And, for some stupid reason, his beeps are understood by the other Autobots and one of the children.

I was happy with Arcee. She turns into a motorcycle and they’ve made her blue, instead of pink and white, but she’s a good character. They casted a different actress for her voice. It’s not like Susan Blu couldn’t have been hunted down, but the new girl does a good job.

I may be wrong, but Starscream seems to be pretty much the same as in Animated, including the voice. You can still see the underlying longing to betray Megatron. I like him alright.

The majority of the Decepticon army, thus far, is made up of mindless drones. It reminded me of Beast Machines. No loss there, really.

The best part of the cartoon is Megatron. We have the great Frank Welker back behind the voice. And it just fits. He IS Megatron. No other voice has ever compared.

I’ll catch the episodes as I can and see where the series goes. The first five episodes are a miniseries and I don’t know when, or if, a full series will be coming.